Confessions of a kleptomaniac

It seems like most of us learned that stealing was wrong the hard way. How many of you can remember being dragged back into a store by your mom and forced to tell the owner you stole a pack of gum or a candy bar? And I bet you all learned your lesson and never stole again, right? Well not so for me. I was seriously a klepto when I was a kid. My poor mom would get calls from my friend's moms wondering if I had "accidentally" brought their child's favorite little toys home. Sorry mom. The thing about stealing though, is that it also makes you lie to cover your tracks.

One time when I was 5, I was in primary and a girl in my class dropped her ring and it rolled. Oh how I wanted that ring. I spotted it while we were all helping her to search, grabbed it without being seen, and continued to help look for the not-so-lost ring. Later that day at home I was sporting my find and my mom asked where I got it. Apparently I was even better at lying than stealing and without missing a beat I told her my primary teacher gave it to me for being the best behaved that day. What and ironic lie. Good thing I was only 5 and not accountable for my actions.

I remember a few times where I was at friends houses and just "had to have" one of their small toys. I'm not sure why in my mind I thought I could just take it without getting caught. I thought I was so sneaky too. I figured that if I put them in my pockets I would be caught, so I would usually stick them in my pants. That backfired though when they would fall out my pant leg in front of my friends. I'm pretty sure I would make up some lie about how that happened.

Probably the most traumatic experience I had (and hopefully one where I learned my lesson) involved a squirt ring. My older sister had a squirt ring and so I just had to have one too. We were at the toy store with my mom and I asked if I could get one. They were only 5 cents, but she said no. Don't worry though, that didn't stop me. The little devil inside me told me if I want somethings all I have to do is take it. So I did. We left and walked over to the grocery store. I was trying my ring on and admiring it just as my mom turned around. She was furious and I knew I was in trouble. She told me to go back to the toy store and give it back. Looking back I'm not really sure why she would send a 6 year old by herself to return stolen goods, but I guess my mom trusted me. I left to grocery store, saw some dirt and decided the best thing to do was to bury the ring. Then I didn't have to face the people at the store and my mom would think I had returned it. Moments later, hands deep in dirt, I felt someone grab my arm. I guess my mom didn't trust me as much I thought. I was busted. She dragged me back to the toy store, all dirty and tear stained, and made me apologize.